Teen Addiction: Your Child is Still in There

When your child is in the throes of their addiction or mental health disorder, they may lash out at you, behave in confusing ways or do things you never would have imagined, such as taking money from your wallet without asking. This can be frustrating and exhausting, especially if it's been going on for quite some time. You may wonder who that hardened, mean person is in front of you, and what happened to the loving child you used to know? It's so important to remember that they are still in there; they are just crushed beneath the weight of their diseases which makes it difficult for them to come up to the surface for air.

I remember one night when I picked my 21-year old daughter up from the emergency room after she hadn't received the care she needed, she was so sad and angry. At first she just went to her room and slammed the door after she got home, but then she came into my bedroom with her arms outstretched and asked if she could sleep beside me. I pulled open the covers and she curled up just like she was six years old, pulled my arm across her, and told me she loved me and thanked me for taking care of her. I held her until she fell asleep, which was the only time her face looked peaceful back then. Those are the moments that break your heart the most, because you can see how much pain they are in, struggling to just figure out how to survive each day. Life shouldn't be that hard for anyone, let alone your child.

So, the next time your loved one seems like someone you don't recognize, just take a deep breath and recall a happy time together. Keep that picture or memory in your mind as you talk with them; having that at the forefront is a great way to manage your emotions and engage with them in a way that is healthier for both of you. It will also help you build a stronger connection with them so that when they do have those lucid moments and the child comes to the surface, they will reach out to you for help and not feel alone.